Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
