just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
