people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
