when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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