I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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