Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.