it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better