Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.