At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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