They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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