Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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