ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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