i think my tv is drunk
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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