I'm jealous of your bromance
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just want to make out with him forever
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
