Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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