i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My life is pants optional.
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