i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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