Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
