You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
