she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
