Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
