I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
