oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
