we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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