Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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