ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
