Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
