I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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