Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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