you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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