i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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