ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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