I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
my nose is crying tears of wow.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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