ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
