Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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