so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize