very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
