I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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