I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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