lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
