Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
