I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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