thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
