so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
