if i died would you start the facebook group?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize