What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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