So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
