His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish I only lived at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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