I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sorry about my life...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
