Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
