Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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