Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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