Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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