Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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