Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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