i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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