no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize