Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
