I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I made him laugh his dick is mine
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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