I just pynch a tree in the face
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
