Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
